.: kulay pinay - fun reads for pinays (filipino women) :.

I read this good how-to tip from Cosmo mag and thought all of us could use these advices.

1. Listen before you respond. Because of your conditioning, whenever we hear “Can you do me a favor?” we automatically say yes. Ask what the favor is first, then think about it. Maybe you can help out even when you say no (I’m busy on Saturday, but I can come over on Friday night and help you decorate.”) or you can give other suggestions.
2. Be polite but firm. People may extremely hurt and rejected if you turn them down. By being polite, you let them understand it’s the favor you’re rejecting, not them. By being firm, you let them know you can’t be bullied into doing something.
3. Be honest. The truth is appreciated by all and it also frees you from feeling guilt. When you tell them the reason you can’t say yes (”I can’t lend you the money because I’m in debt myself.”) you not only avoid persistent needling, you also save yourself from future favors of the same kind.
4. Keep it short. A simple answer will do, while a lengthy explanation makes you look like you’re making excuses. Don’t apologize - you shouldn’t feel sorry you have a life.

How to Say No
Cosmopolitan Magazine
December 2006
p. 132