.: kulay pinay - fun reads for pinays (filipino women) :.

A lady in a bar walks to the barman and puts her finger into his mouth. He lustfully licks and sucks each finger. She then said: “Tell your manager there’s no toilet paper.”

(txt msg)

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Juan: Pare, nasusuka ako kaya lang hindi ako masuka
Pedro: Madali lang yun pare, sundot mo tonsil mo.
(sinundot ang tonsil)
Juan: Hindi pa rin eh.
Pedro: Try mo sundot puwet mo.
(Sinundot ang puwet)
Juan: Hindi pa rin eh.
Pedro: Ngayon isundot mo ulit sa bibig mo.

(txt msg)

Nanay: Ang lakas mong kumain tapos di man lang mautos. Ang kapal ng mukha mo!

Anak: Yung baboy kung malakas kumain, ang saya mo. Sino ba ang totoong anak mo? Ako o yung baboy?!

(txt msg)

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A guy was setting up his new email account while his girlfriend sat beside him. Feeling all macho, he put in “penis” as his password. His girlfriend fell off her chair laughing when the error message registered as: PASSWORD NOT LONG ENOUGH.

(txt msg)